For older children, it is sometimes best to pick up and drop off children at school, rather than at the house of the other parent.  Handovers can be a hard to manage both for parents and children, and if arguments cannot be avoided then this is one way to make things easier.  Children can find the transition from one parent to the other very difficult, as it a time when their loyalty to each of their parents is tested.  It’s not unusual for children to become withdrawn or distressed at this time, which sometimes leads to both parents getting the false impression that something is wrong in the other household.  Try your best to remain calm and positive if the handover is with the other parent, and if difficult things are said just don’t be provoked into responding.  Attending a Parenting Apart course or training organised by Shared Parenting Scotland helps to build up the skills to deal with these situations.