Shared Parenting Scotland

There is no single answer. There is no legal requirement to. It is your business. But if/when she finds out you are likely to be asked why you kept it secret.  The practical issue is whether your children come to know about this relationship. In most cases it is sensible to keep your relationship with a new partner separate from your relationship with your children for quite a while until you know what the new relationship is going to be.  Here are a few more ideas.

Some types of child vaccination such as MMR have attracted opposition, and this is likely to happen when a Coronavirus vaccine becomes available. If parents don’t agree whether a child should be vaccinated, the matter can be raised in court. The matter becomes more complicated if only the mother has parental rights and responsibilities or if a child is in care of the local authority. A recent English court judgement endorses the wisdom and efficacy of vaccination and places the onus on the parent who opposes vaccination to raise court action to stop the vaccination – see this roundup article for more background.

If communication isn’t good with the other parent there is a tendency to be suspicious, quite apart from the upset that comes with losing time with your children. At the present moment (though the situation is changing at short notice) if neither the children nor their parent – or you – have been in direct contact with someone diagnosed with Coronavirus then contact ought to take place if there is agreement between parents or a court order. There is official guidance supporting this and the lockdown law includes this as an exclusion in the movement restrictions.  Parent Club also has useful information

The decision might be being made in good faith, although overcautious. However, even if you are suspicious there is no great purpose in having an argument. Our advice is to demonstrate that you are a responsible parent with concern about your children’s health. You could reply – by text or e mail so you have a  record of it – asking for some form of Face Time with your children during the time you should have had them.  If the other parent is being genuine there will be no reason to refuse. If there is no prohibition on sending anything through the post you can send a cheery card saying that you hope to see them soon. Government guidance is that self-isolation should be 10 days if no symptoms have developed in the meantime.

Start with the FAQs, which have been written to answer questions that are asked on our helpline, at group meetings or in WhatsApp groups.  When necessary we consult experienced family lawyers to help ensure the accuracy and we try to avoid using legal jargon.  Links to more detailed information are included where possible.  If you can’t find the answer to your question try searching the whole site using the magnifying glass at top right of the screen.  If nothing is found email or phone us with your question.

We always advise people that it is best to have a lawyer if you are taking court, but we know that some people either can’t afford representation or have had such poor legal support in the past that they end up conducting their own case in court.  Our Guide will help you LINK and we may also be able to  link you with a lay supporter LINK.  It is also worth trying to find a lawyer who can comment on what you are putting on the court papers before submitting them.  There will be a cost for this service, but it costs far less than full representation and can help you avoid making errors in the way you present your case.

The current current Children (Scotland) Act says that the court should allow a child to express views and have regard to them as far as possible.  It also says that the court should take account if the child’s age and maturity and that “a child twelve years of age or more shall be presumed to be of sufficient age and maturity to form a view” (section 6).

The Children (Scotland) Bill may extend or remove the mention of the age of 12.  Whatever the age, the views of a child are not the deciding factor, although the older the child the more impact their views will have on the final decision.

If possible, try to persuade the mother to add your name. There are forms for you and her to fill in and this adds your name to the birth certificate. See https://www.nrscotland.gov.uk/registration/re-registration-of-birth-or-stillbirth for more details.

If she doesn’t agree to do this, you can raise it in court at the same time as obtaining a contact order. If she disputes that you are the father you can ask for a DNA test – do this via the Child Maintenance Service if you are being asked to pay maintenance.