As an introduction to our launch of our pilot of the New Ways for Families® training in Scotland, we are featuring the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute – Bill Eddy.
Prior to becoming a lawyer in 1992, he was a Licensed Clinical Social worker with twelve years’ experience providing therapy to children, adults, couples and families in psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics. As a lawyer, Bill was a Certified Family Law Specialist in California and the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego.
This wide background led him to develop ways of helping separating parents to handle issues such as dealing with high conflict personalities. These strategies underlie much of the material in the New Ways for Families® programme.
In his book “Don’t Alienate the Kids”, Bill starts by telling this story:
Suppose when parents separate or divorce they are given a pile of 1000 little bricks. They can use these bricks to build a wall against the other parent, or they can use these bricks to build a foundation of resilience for their child. When they build a wall, the bricks they are using are blaming others, all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions and extreme behaviours.
When they build a foundation of resilience, the bricks they are using become checking oneself, flexible thinking, managed emotions and moderate behaviour. The problem is that we often don’t realise whether we are building a wall or a foundation.
That’s where the training comes in.
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