Survival tips for caregivers when sharing parenting this Christmas from Shared Parenting Scotland

As December 25 approaches, Shared Parenting Scotland appeals to separated parents and other caregivers to take the opportunity presented by the spirit of Christmas to set aside their personal issues for the benefit of their children.

Christmas can be the loneliest time of the year for divorced or separated parents. It is the time they most want to see their children, but it may not be their turn to have them for Christmas Day. For some parents and their extended family – it is never their turn.

Shared Parenting Scotland is recommending eight tips suggested by attendees at our nationwide group meetings. They are designed for non-resident parents, as well as grandparents, aunts and uncles whose contact has been lost or reduced when the parents separated.

Kevin Kane, Shared Parenting Scotland, Chief Executive stated,

“We receive calls to our helpline and emails every day at this time of year from mothers, fathers and grandparents in great distress because arrangements to see their kids at some point over Christmas have broken down or abruptly changed or have simply been refused.

We appeal to parents to take the opportunity presented by the spirit of Christmas to set aside their personal issues for the benefit of their children. In turn, it could be the platform for greater goodwill and a renewed and positive co-parenting relationship in 2026”.

Mr Kane went on,

“The National Parenting Strategy, now almost 15 years old, recognised the importance of ensuring parents get the support they need to form and develop healthy positive bonds with their children. Christmas represents an opportunity to do just that!”.
 
Building healthy relationships at Christmas will last a lifetime.

Top Survival Tips are:

1. Remember to put the children first. Even though you are missing them do not put your distress ahead of their enjoyment. Encourage them to look forward to the next time they are with you.
2. Try and negotiate with your ex-partner, maybe a phone call, or face time at an agreeable time, with your children on Christmas  Day so they know you are thinking about them and they can share in their excitement.
3. Try and agree with your ex-partner that the children might enjoy having Christmas Day with each of you on alternate years.
4. If you do have them this year do not go overboard on arrangements. Think ahead about what they will enjoy rather than what is expensive. It is time together that counts in the long run.
5. Do not compete on presents with other members of your child’s family. Outspending can create friction, especially if money is short for both of you. When you have limited time with your children it is often tempting to try and compensate by extravagant gestures. Try not to! Good cheer now may pay off in the New Year.
6. Keep in mind that your children will remember the time they have with you. Do not worry that they might not give you a second thought when they are not with you. That is what kids are like.
7. If you do not have any contact with your kids at all, sit down and write them an email or a letter. Even if you never send it, it will be your time with them this year.
8. Do not let yourself get miserable or lonely at home. Make sure you see friends and get outside if you can.  Perhaps, think about volunteering with some of the organisations that look after others at Christmas.

Christmas can take many shapes for families, including shared mornings, swapped days, blended gatherings, or time spent apart.

Click here to watch our video on co-parenting if you can this Christmas.

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