Karen Kristjanson explains why she wrote a song about co-parenting.
We’re never entirely finished with our central relationships. At least, that’s been my experience. The bigger, the longer, the deeper – the more tendrils of feeling linger.
My first marriage ended more than twenty years ago. The sons that their father and I raised, first in one home and then from two homes, are grown. My former husband and I live in different cities and see each other only once or twice a year. We interact with civility accompanied by occasional flashes of affection or annoyance.
So what’s left? When our older son announced his marriage plans, I was excited. I wondered what to give him and his soon-to-be-wife for their wedding. As the day grew nearer, and I visualized the ceremony and celebrations, a conviction grew: the best gift I could give would be a joyful event free of any undercurrents of tension or awkwardness from the past.
To my dismay and embarrassment, I discovered that this would take a bit of effort from me. After all this time? Yep. As I pondered this, the image of the “wedding dance” emerged as a symbol of what my ex and I had been approaching, all these years. We didn’t do it perfectly, but we did create a new relationship that allowed us all to be part of a larger “family”.
The poignant feelings which arose led me to write and record a song – the only one I have ever heard – about co-parenting after divorce.
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