Six Months on the Frontline with Shared Parenting Scotland

Our Helpline and Business Support Officer, Megan Hutcheon’s writes about her six months on the frontline with Shared Parenting Scotland.

The past six months with Shared Parenting Scotland as a Helpline and Business Administration Officer has flown by. Before starting my post at the end of January, I had the opportunity to attend some of our group support meetings. This gave me a chance to gain an appreciation of the work that the charity does and to understand more about the services we offer to separated parents and grandparents.

One of our most popular services, for people at any stage in their journey towards establishing a better co-parenting relationship, is our group meetings. We hold five meetings a month, four across major Scottish cities and one online with firm plans in place to expand into other areas of need. Our regional peer support WhatsApp groups are proving increasingly popular too and it’s great to see mums and dads offer learning and support among one another.

I particularly enjoy the group meetings, seeing the different kinds of support that can be offered. Our staff work alongside pro-bono solicitors who generously give their time and offer clarity on points of Scots Family Law. It has been great to see how the solicitor and the member of SPS staff and volunteers chairing the meeting can work together to help those people in need. I enjoy some of the camaraderie that often within the groups and seems to linger afterwards.

Finding my feet on the helpline

In my first few months, I shadowed different members of the team to see how they each approached speaking on the phone. While each of them had a different approach, there was notable protocols and key questions that need asked. They all encouraged me to bring my own personality to the role – which was great!

Although they each have different methods for approaching call handling and note-taking, they all individually told me about the importance of tea breaks! As call handlers, we offer a listening service, advice on separation and meaningful signposting to other organisations.

I also took part in an external call-handling training session, as well as a session on providing trauma-informed advice through our membership of AdviceUK. Both have helped me understand more about how to respond appropriately to people who may be contacting us during a particularly difficult period in their lives.

Our membership of AdviceUK also supports the systems we use to provide our service, including our CRM system. This helps us keep track of the mums, dads and grandparents who seek us out for support, so that we can maintain a better understanding of their contact with the charity and provide a more consistent service.

Tea breaks, a quick stretch or a blast of a good song are some of the ways I reset after an intense call. I learned in the first few months that it is very important to build these resetting moments into your daily practice as a call handler.

The helpline and group work can involve dealing with trauma and some of that can be absorbed. At least one group meeting I felt that acutely. I have been working on my stress management and I glad the team is set up in a very supportive way. We have morning meetings first thing, where we can all speak about any concerns we are having and check in with each other. I have really valued that consistency of support.

Supporting families beyond the helpline

I have also had the opportunity to get involved in some of the wider work of Shared Parenting Scotland.

One project I helped with involved collecting responses from local authorities about their school transport policies. We wanted to find out whether their assistance with travel to school was inclusive of the one-third of children on the school roll who have separated parents and many living across two houses.

This was time-consuming because, unfortunately, many schools did not clearly state in their policies that they would accommodate transport for a child who lived across two addresses.

I felt very frustrated with some of the results we gathered. Some local authorities were found to be accommodating, but only if parents jumped through certain hoops to prove their co-parenting status. Others specified that parents would have to provide specific dates showing when their children would be travelling to each home.

I think this kind of rigidity is not fair to separated families. It doesn’t encourage the flexibility in co-parenting relationships that children who live in one home with both parents might have. If one parent is sick, for example, families need to be able to adapt their arrangements. Children living across two houses should not be disadvantaged because their parents are separated.

Seeing the impact of our work

In May, Kevin and I went to watch a YPI presentation put on by teenagers at Eastwood School in Glasgow. They had chosen to raise awareness of Shared Parenting Scotland and were hoping to win money for our charity.

It was very clear how hard they had worked on their bid for us and we were totally blown away by their efforts.

Although we didn’t leave with the money, I left with a resurgence of motivation for my job and for the impact of the work that we do. One of the girls’ parents had been in touch with us several years ago and had been grateful for the support they had received. Their daughter then took the initiative to bring our charity to her classmates when they were deciding which charity to present for their project.

It was a lovely reminder that the support we provide can have an impact that reaches much further than the person who initially contacts us.

Climbing Ben Nevis for SPS

At the end of May, I was part of the team who raised money for SPS by climbing Ben Nevis.

It was relentless, and so were the midges, but I was very grateful that my mum had given me some Jungle Formula. I think the others were too!

Some of the money I raised came from friends and family, while I also held a couple of bake sales at our group meetings. I think we unanimously loved the event, and I hope we can organise future events like this that allow everyone involved in the charity to get together.

Looking ahead

Looking forward, I am really excited to be part of Shared Parenting Scotland as we work alongside the International Council for Shared Parenting to plan the eighth international conference on shared parenting in Glasgow, 2027.

Having now worked as a call handler for several months, I have also answered the phone to a few community link workers who have been interested in referring their clients to us.

I am delighted that I will be helping to put together a presentation for community link workers across Scotland at their online Knowledge Exchange event in January. Our membership of Voluntary Health Scotland has helped supported this and the staff there have been great.

When I look back at my first six months with Shared Parenting Scotland, I realise how much I have learned already. I have learned about the challenges faced by separated families, but also about the importance of listening, flexibility, support and working together.

Most of all, I have enjoyed becoming part of a team that is committed to helping families navigate what can be an incredibly difficult time. I am looking forward to seeing what the next six months bring.

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